Tuesday, July 13, 2010 ;
10:03 PM
Dh is back! Finally, we have him in Singapore for at least a couple more months before he travels again, perhaps end of the year.
We have had a couple of lovely family outings - mostly just to fly kites at the park beside our place or meals out/ games night at home, but they become very treasured cos he has been away for so long.
He was also surprised that just in the space of 2 months, the kids have grown. Of course, most noticeably the baby. Babies develop the fastest in their 1st yr of life, so he was so pleasantly surprised to see her sitting up, to wow at her new teeth, and marvel at her semi-crawling in a backwards direction on the floor.
But of course, when he left for the Europe trip, she was just 3mths old. Now, after the USA trip, she is already 5 months old! 2 months make a lot of difference in a baby's life!
I just read in today's papers of how a father got jailed for causing his baby to die due to his rocking her too violently. He had wanted to make her stop crying and go to sleep.
Now this kind of shocked me. I mean, I probably don't have the strength of a big man, but ermmm, any SAHM who has to be with a newborn ALONE at home 24/7 can testify that, she will always have moments when she is so frustrated at the incessant crying that she will rock baby harder than usual.
I mean, I definitely have done that. The papers did not describe anything else he did besides rocking the baby harder. Then, oh my, I could've been jailed. I must thank God that my baby didn't die when I rock her harder than usual to make her sleep.
I've also almost always put her down to sleep on her tummy. That's also a big no-no in the medical textbook. It may cause SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). I did that with ds1 and ds2 as well. But mostly with ds2 and dd cos it was with these 2 that I started having no domestic helper and having to live alone without any help from mom or mil.
If you have tons of chores to do, and baby's other siblings to care for, other schedules to follow (like older kids' meals and school times), then you just cannot afford to have baby NOT sleep. Their naps are precious time for us to get stuff done. For my kids, they sleep longer and better on their tummies, so I just have to do that, but I walk past the bedroom and check on them regularly just to make sure their airways are not blocked.
And there is such a thing called colic. For parents who never had babies with colic, don't bother reading this post because you will not believe what I say anyway.
Colic is defined as continuous crying without apparent known reason. It can occur at a certain each day, every day. It gets better from the 4th month onwards, usually. All my babies seemed to have colic.
Maybe I just have difficult kids?? But yes, little princess also drives me nuts with her night time crying. It is really non-stop. It can go on and on and gets so bad she will choke and vomit milk out as she cries. It is also scary to watch her puke all the milk out. 1st time parents would have rushed their babies to the A&E at the hospital. It is just that ds2 was also like that, so I just know I have to bear with it. Keep carrying her around, talking to her soothingly and sit with her in my rocking recliner and rock.
Yeah, and many nights I get so sick of her screaming in my ear that I rock really hard with my feet, while patting her rather hard on her back as well. My mom claims I pat too hard cos she can hear the sound. When she can hear the sound of patting so loudly, it means it is too hard and I am damaging the nerves at her spine in the back. Well, now you know where I got my imagination from, definitely my mom.
But anyway... so the solution for these problems, in order not to have parents jailed frequently, would be to have some kind of rest and outlet, some kind of help.
I don't feel so bad if my mom helps me in the day by watching dd a while, so I take a nap. On those nights, I feel more energetic and feel good enough to last a long night with her crying.
I also feel better with Dh at home, even though he may be sleeping in the other room (cos he has to work, not cos he is lazy and refuses to help me). Cos I know anytime I can't take it anymore, I can wake him up and let him take over. Just this thought is enough to keep me going.
I guess the tragedy in the papers could have been avoided if the guy had someone else at home?
In any case, dd is much better now since she is older, and can use up more energy during the day by semi-crawling around and doing mini-push ups. This helps her sleep much better at night. Phew.
To all parents - we just grit our teeth and bear the first few months right? Those are the toughest. After that, it is an easier ride. (Those parents with teens might disagree... :-))
rainbows every day, do not worry for the morrow
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