Wednesday, May 20, 2009 ;
I just found out today that ds1 has been kissing girls in school!
First, he had a playdate today, so he was picked up from school by his friend's driver and I only went to N's house after ds2 woke from his nap. When I arrived, other moms were already chatting over scrumptious tea and snacks.
When I joined them, I found out from Z that a boy in class kissed her Sof. She was livid. Maybe more like exaggerated upset. Maybe she was secretly happy. I don't know, but she had a big reaction.
After the playdate when we reached home, I casually asked ds1 if Sof was really kissed today by so and so. He said yes, but she also kissed him back.
Oh? Ok... Then did anyone else kiss anyone else too?
Ahhh, then came the thunderbolt.
ds1: Yeah. I kissed TK.
ds1: Err, I kissed TK also. XX kissed YY, AA kissed BB and CC kissed DD also.
Me: WHAT??!? When did you kiss TK? Where?
ds1: I kissed her a few times already. Anytime, anywhere. In class and in playground also.
I took a step back, calmed myself down (cos the boys were still casually playing), and reminded myself that I often read that the more we exaggerate the matter, the more they want to do it, or they will clam up and not tell us such incidents in future.
So I asked him in a normal tone after that, the remaining of the 5 Ws.
I asked him WHY did he kiss her, WHO else has he kissed before, WHERE did he kiss her, exactly HOW many times already...
He said he likes her, that's why. Simple as that. He hasn't kissed anyone else before. And he has kissed her a couple of times already. He kissed her on her cheeks, back, arms and hand.
I then asked, ANYONE saw when you kissed her? WHAT was her reaction? DID you kiss her ANYWHERE ELSE besides what you mentioned? AND, WHY do you like her??
Fortunately my son is pretty patient and is used to my firing many Qs at him in a row. He dutifully answered, all the while still playing with his brother.
He said too many people saw. When they were in class, the classmates all saw. When they were in the playground, too many people saw until he couldn't count. He said she was smiling, definitely not upset or angry. He said no, he didn't kiss her on the lips. And he said he liked her cos she is PRETTY and KIND.
I can't believe it. Why has my firstborn son grown up so quickly??
I had 1000 other Qs I wanted to ask, and some of them were repeat Qs, like I still wanted to ask WHERE he kissed her, just to be sure.
But I decided that was enough. Otherwise it would become too much of a big deal. I just asked for a final thing. I asked him to show me how he kissed her. Kiss mommy like how you kiss her, I said.
So he kissed me, on the cheeks, on the back, arms... And they were all gentle, friendly kisses. Ok... I was a little appeased. These kissed probably wouldn't make her cry indeed.
But still, I called up the only Korean mom I knew well, and asked her to help me call TK's mom, let her know I already talked to ds1. Cos TK is Korean and I don't know her mom at all. Jin helped me call and then called me back saying TK's mom already knew and she doesn't mind. She said she found out TK also kisses other boys. Jin also said TK's dad is American, so they're very cool about it.
haha... Good for ds1. He got off lightly. Whereas Z was like about to go and kill the boy who kissed her daughter.
When I told Dh about it after he got home, guess what was his first reaction?
It was not about his son maturing too fast, it was not about his son's misdemeanor... He asked me, "The girl, pretty or not?"
rainbows every day, do not worry for the morrow