Wednesday, October 10, 2007 ;
12:32 PM
Just back from a farm. Photos not sorted yet but will post about it once I've done that.
Just have some thoughts because I received some emails from friends asking how I can:
1. take care of 2 boys and hubby, even cutting their hair
2. do all the housework
3. cook most meals and bake
4. take time to "homeschool"
5. bring boys out for adventures
6. while being all alone
7. and still blog and reply all my emails
8. those on facebook ask me how come i still have time for facebook and all those "throwing sheep nonsense" (this came from a student actually)?!?
While their emails greatly encouraged me and made me feel really good, I reflected and really, I am not a "supermom" but I just had some circumstances and factors all thrown in together at the same time, which cause me to do these things that I am doing now.
Some of the important factors:
1. A supportive husband who lets me be a SAHM and does not complain about a messy house. He feels that the kids are our priority and so I just do my best to teach them, to cook healthy meals, that's enough. Housework, can close one eye.
2. Having a mom who was also a SAHM, who did a lot of things with me and my sis also, when we were young.
3. Being taken from a comfortable home and thrown into a new country with no one to turn to for help (easily).
I think if I had remained in Singapore, even being a SAHM, I might not have overcome a lot of my "fears".
One very significant one was to drive long distances with the kids, alone. I used to always panic whenever the 2 of them cried or screamed in the car, esp together! Driving with them like that was very dangerous, because I also screamed at them to be quiet and cannot concentrate on the road. The most I could do was to ferry them from my house to school (hc) and from my mom-in-law's to my mom's. I also thought I could not manage a full day outing with them alone.
Back in Singapore, everytime I brought them to the zoo, it'd be with friends, my mom, with dh or my maid. When I went on outings with the kids, I always felt I needed someone along, just in case I cannot handle.
Over here, because of necessity, I have to do that all the time. I cannot wait for dh to be free before I brought the kids out, we'd all go crazy. He's only free on Sundays in a normal week and we go to church 2x on Sundays. I don't have a maid, a mom or mom in law or friends here. I mean, I have friends, but not yet till I could ask them out to help me with kids!
I still get nervous when I drive into the city, because it's a long distance, it's in heavy traffic and I am still not familiar with all the roads. But if they cry or make noise, I have to tune them out. Just have to learn.
4. Having tight financial situation.
In Singapore, I'd probably be able to put them in a great preschool and send them for various enrichment classes eg music, gymnastics, art etc. But over here, I can only look out for the occasional reasonably priced "community center" kind of classes, and send only ds1 to 2 morning preschool. (In Singapore, even ds2 can go to school. He even has a CDA account to tap into!)
So no choice, I have to do the teaching, and have to be extra creative since they are my own kids, and usually your own kids are so comfortable with you, it's so hard to teach them well. I'm still having problem with getting them to like the keyboard.
Having an income back home would also mean I might have kept my maid, or at least have a part time cleaner, and I might still be staying with my in laws, which meant I needn't cook (since my father-in-law doesn't fancy my cooking). There wasn't enough space for an oven too, which meant I couldn't bake. So....
I wouldn't be able to achieve all the above, had it not been because of
necessity and adversity. :-) Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be thankful for having hardship thrown at me, but I think in this case, I must be thankful, because it has made me suddenly grow up a lot; become a lot more independent and resourceful; braver and more confident too. God has blessed me and my family immensely and we're thankful for that. The church here has been a great source of help and support too.
Hopefully this can also inspire others who have initial fears and concerns about uncertainties or some difficult decisions in life. Go in and just try to find a way to get out, you'll make it, and emerge stronger as a result!
rainbows every day, do not worry for the morrow
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